You have been scanned and judged. Audience with "Bob" is hereby granted.

                           [X-DayTest1sm.JPG] You Are Now In
                                 The Very CLUTCHES of

                               The Stark Fist of Removal

                                 SILENCE, EARTH FOOL!

                                    [xfluxanim.gif]

      [compassbob.gif] This is your gateway to an alternate universe, a superior
    dimension -- the world of Dobbs Awareness, compactly encapsulated in but a few
   thousand pages of art and text. Many chain-gangs of DobbsDrones and Bombies have
   given of their Slack to bring to your screen everything SubGenius, from the most
    ancient, creaking STARK FIST OF REMOVAL print-zine reprints to the most recent
    battle reports from the infamous [1]alt.slack newsgroup. You have MANY CHOICES
      herein, and each one leads to untold hundreds more... SO WEIGH YOUR OPTIONS
   CAREFULLY. Remember, YOU MAY NOT COME OUT! You might wisely decide to peruse our
              [2]DISCLAIMERS AND WARNINGS before proceeding any further.

    YOU MUST NOW CHOOSE. EVERYTHING hangs in the balance. Such is the Way of Dobbs.

     (The [3]CHURCH NEWS UPDATES page holds notices and links to new or otherwise
                           immediately pertinent material.)

                       [4]LATEST "STARK FIST OF REMOVAL" online
                       ________________________________________

                     [bobtv.gif] [bobtv.gif] [5]The EYES of "BOB"

   You'll CRAP your SLACKS when you truly "SEE" what Dobbs hath wrought through the
    hand-eye coordination of his followers (i.e., his "tools"). Enough downloadable
    VISIONS, VIDEOS and VITREOL to crash your hard drive for GOOD this time. HERE,
                     try [6]THIS MERE SAMPLE (by Rev. John Fudge)!
                       ________________________________________

                      [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [7]The EARS of "BOB"

    Sing along with Dobbs until your THROAT BLEEDS! Includes ear-knifing RealAudio
    radio, downloadable binaries, links to your Fave Cool AntiMusic Bands, and the
                            KEYS to SUBGENIUS RADIO ACCESS!
                       ________________________________________

                      [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [8]The Hall of GOODS

   Finally, we get down to BUSINESS! [9]THE SUBGENIUS ONLINE CATALOG: Price List of
    the Gods, your source for great official Church videos, tapes, books, T-shirts,
       YOU NAME IT! PLUS: [10]Other Mutants (ads and personals from your fellow
   SubGenius vendors), and ENDLESS REVIEWS of groovy Short Duration Personal Saviors
     and Designer Messiahs in every medium. Lists of Required Reading, Listening,
     Viewing, Squirting. You'll Never Be Bored Again -- IF you have enough money!!
                       ________________________________________

                    [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [11]Websites of the Gods

       Seek Out Your Own Kind... and be prepared to deal with the consequences.
                       ________________________________________

                     [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [12]The Hall of ANSWERS

     New screen-blistering [13]RANTS and in-depth [14]ARTICLES from The Stark Fist
     Online! The Best of Alt.Slack! [15]FAQs 'n SLAQs! [16]Revelation-X out-takes!
      Things to Think, Know, See, Say and Do! [17]Archives of Classic SubGeniania
   including [18]The Book of the SubGenius, [19]Stark Fist back issue reprints, and
    ALL of the anthology [20]3-Fisted Tales of 'Bob'! Also: Webberized Encyclopedia
        of the Gods, Paths to Slack, and Practical Anti-Conspiracy Weapons! New
    Scriptures, recent 'Bob' sightings, secrets of X-Day... and some tummy-ticklin'
                           recipes for the adventurous chef.
                       ________________________________________

                    [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [21]The Hall of QUESTIONS

       Probe the mind(s) of Dobbs himself for everything you truly NEED to KNOW.
         Just remember: "Bob" is not THE answer, and neither is anything else.
                       ________________________________________

                 [ani4.gif] [LILIA_DANCE.GIF] [22]The Hall of SEXHURT
                                  PATHS TO PORNOLOGY

   Everything you have ever done throughout your entire life has been building up to
   THIS -- your chance to view those very Web pages that your Mom warned you about,
   those TABOO SECRETS which THEY would rather KILL YOU for being INTERESTED IN than
            LET YOU LEARN!! There will be a slight charge for this service.
                       ________________________________________

                     [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [23]The Hall of SCIENCE
                        and Hot-Headed Naked Ice Borer Preserve

    FINALLY FINISHED!! Our "flagship" Hall. How the Universe Began, and Must End...
   [24]Time Machines... How to Build A Home Electric Chair... [25]HEALTH ADVICE you
     Can't Live Without... [26]Philo's True History of The SubGenius Experience in
   Amerikkkkkkka... volumes of handy illegal [27]COMPUTER TRICKS... but best of all,
      EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT [28]PRAIRIE SQUID MATING HABITS,
     BONOBO/YETI SEXUAL TECHNIQUES, AND THE LOCAL AVAILABILITY OF FACE FUCKING BAT
                               SPERM ANTIDOTE PUDDING!!!
                       ________________________________________

                    [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [29]The Hall of BULLDADA

      Rival Kooks We've "Known" and Loved, High Weirdness by Mail-2, Motel of the
       Gods... KKKool Krackpots and Kristian Krazies! Secrets of the UFO! Mondo
                                       InterNut!
                       ________________________________________

                  [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [30]The Hall of MINDLESS FUN

     Make Yourself SICK with PLEASURE! [31]4-Fisted Tales of "Bob"! Vivid prurient
   voyeuristic accounts of [32]ACTUAL SubGenius Devivals... AS THEY HAPPENED! Games,
   [33]trivia and [34]Quizzes! Shameless [35]letters and confessions from the Flock!
      And even (as a break from the dreadful seriousness)... a zany, rib-ticklin'
                                  [36]Humor section!
                       ________________________________________

                      [fire.gif] [fire.gif] [37]The Hall of EVILS

    Cavern of Conspiracies... The House of Hate... The Zoo of Missing Links... True
         Bummers: [38]politics, [39]evil rival kooks, inside-Church rumors and
   [40]gossip... and the meanest, most heartless flaming in all the vast reaches of
                          cyberspace. PLUS: Sterno's Corner!
                       ________________________________________

                           [bobmilk.jpg] [41]The Men's Room
             Your only source for Face Fucking Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding.
       Strap on your information catheter and be flushed down the digital sewer.
                       ________________________________________

                                 [42]The Ladies' Room
                       Women's Issues and Prairie Squid habitat.

      [fire.gif] [fire.gif] Learn how to attend and partake of LIVE online Church
                     Worship Meetings and Sunday Night Devivals in
                             [43]SUBGENIUS IRC 'CHAT' LAND
                                   Not for Children
                       ________________________________________

         Sacrifice your will, sign away your soul and smash your brain FLAT at
                                     [44]THE ALTAR
                              of the Cathedral of Slack!!
     ____________________________________________________________________________

                 [bobradaranim.gif] THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL: ONLINE
      Address all correspondence, submissions, supplications, prayer requests and
    donations to The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., PO Box 204206, Austin, Texas, USA
     78720; e-mail [45]stang@subgenius.com; fax 216-320-9528. We are irresponsible
        with unsolicited contributions. DEALERS PLEASE INQUIRE FOR BULK RATES.
    Subscribers must inform this office of any change of address; failure to do so
   jeopardizes the subscriber's sole chance for Transfiguration and planetary escape
                   on July 5, 2002, or 8661, whichicher comes first.

      Fist-City by Stang; TV by Modemac; all other art this page by IrRev. Friday
                                        Jones.
     ____________________________________________________________________________

      COPYRIGHT © 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 by The SubGenius
   Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. The Graven Image of "Bob" Dobbs' Face is a
           registered trademark of The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.(clutch20)
     ____________________________________________________________________________

                            [46]Back to the first PAGE ONE

                              [47]Back to the First FIST
     ____________________________________________________________________________

References

   1. news:alt.slack
   2. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/disclaimers.html
   3. https://www.subgenius.com/updates/updates.html
   4. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/FIST2001-2/FIST2001-2.html
   5. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/eyes/eyes.html
   6. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics5/REV-X/WHAT-WE-KNOW.JPG
   7. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/ears/ears.html
   8. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/goods/goods.html
   9. https://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html
  10. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/goods/goods.html
  11. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/websites.html
  12. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/answers.html
  13. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/rants/rants.html
  14. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/articles/articles.html
  15. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/faqs/faqs.html
  16. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/revxouts.html
  17. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classic.html
  18. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classics/classics.html
  19. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classicrants/classicrants.html
  20. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classictales/classictales.html
  21. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/questions.html
  22. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/sexhurt/sexhurt.html
  23. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/hallscience.html
  24. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0021.html
  25. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0050.html
  26. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0061.html
  27. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/computers/computers.html
  28. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/hallscience/X0083.html
  29. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/bulldada/kooklove.html
  30. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/fun.html
  31. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/tales/tales.html
  32. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/devivals.html
  33. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/trivia/trivia.html
  34. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/quiz/quiz.html
  35. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/letters/letters.html
  36. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/humor/humor.html
  37. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/evils/evils.html
  38. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/evils/politics/politics.html
  39. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/evils/kookhate/kookhate.html
  40. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/evils/gossip/gossip.html
  41. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/mens/mens.html
  42. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/women/women.html
  43. https://www.subgenius.com/subirc/subirc.html
  44. https://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/altar.html
  45. mailto:stang@subgenius.com
  46. https://www.subgenius.com/index3.html
  47. https://www.subgenius.com/fist3.html