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   [7]Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

                          THE Darwin Awards: Evolutionary Action

   The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by
   accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a
   'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong.

Hot August Historic Awardees

   Quill Pen writing the words, Historic Darwin Awards

Armor History Lesson: 16 Years Ago...

   [8](26 August 2006) Haphazard Armor
   England | Darren's death was a puzzle. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the
   hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds. Had an assailant attacked him?
   Police could find no supporting evidence. A year later the Inquest revealed why
   Darren can take his place among the stars of the Darwin Awards. Left alone in the
   house while his wife was on holiday, he decided to he decided to 'fork around and
   find out' if his new jacket was stab-proof...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

   [9]Giant stacks of new wooden pallets, and a forklift in the foreground.

Pallet History Lesson: 5 Years Ago...

   [10](August 2017, Japan) Forklift Around And Find Out
   Logistics was uppermost in the mind of a warehouse employee of Tanarumono
   Logistics. The worker needed to change a light bulb ten meters overhead and the
   forklift could only reach 2.5 meters, clearly not close enough. Expressed as a
   math problem: A person can reach a light fixture 2 meters overhead -- and wants
   to replace a lightbulb 10 meters overhead -- so how many 15-cm wood pallets must
   be stacked onto a 2.5 meter forklift platform, to reach the burnt bulb?

   Title Suggestions From Readers
   "The Odds Were Stacked Against Him"
   "Jenga Difficultly Level: 10"
   "Stack Attack!"
   "An Unpalatable Death"
   "Pallatative Care"
   "Skidmark"
     ____________________________________________________________________________

   [11]Happy dog enjoying the breeze, his head in the car's sunroof opening.

Heedless History Lesson: 25 Years Ago...

   [12](77%) Out Of Their Minds
   23 August 2007, HOLLAND || Darwin notes: "This sort of thing is rare today
   because changes were made to vehicles to protect the guilty, but for awhile there
   were quite a few incidents reported to the Darwin Awards".
   HOLLAND || A group of employees was thrilled to enjoy a team-building bus tour,
   and get a break from BAU (Biz As Usu). It was sunny, and the more boisterous
   employees enjoyed sticking their heads out of the rooftop window like puppies in
   the wind. And then it happened -- two men were singing lustily as the wind
   caressed their faces, when the bus entered a viaduct...

   and the Heedless became the Headless. . .

   which really isn't a thing, they only snapped their necks, a quick and painless
   death and a lesson for the rest of us.
     ____________________________________________________________________________

   [13]Train Hits Crumpled Car: an oddly common Darwin Award

Train History Lesson: 20 Years Ago...

   [14](2 August 2002) Long Lonesome Train
   Kansas | Driving along Interstate 35, an Olathe driver's sloppy-jalopy broke
   down. Attempts to repair it were futile. So the man pulled out a cellphone--the
   mobile's moniker in 2002--and called for a tow. As he ambled along the railroad
   tracks parallel to the freeway, he focused intently on the device (as one does)
   and was utterly oblivious to the sound of a train whistle...

   The train engineer reported that he covered his left ear so he could better hear
   the conversation on his device!
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Chicken History Lesson: 27 Years Ago...

   [15](79%) Count Your Chickens
   Six people drowned Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a
   well in southern Egypt. An 18 year old farmer was the first to descend into the
   60-foot well. He drowned, apparently by undercurrent
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Wild Animal History Lesson: 15 Years Ago...

   [16](77%) Beer for Bears
   Serbia | It's well known that alcohol impairs judgement. It's well known that
   carnivorous wild animals and humans don't mix. What happens when we combine all
   three...?
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Swimming Pool History Lesson: 14 Years Ago...

   [17](77%) One Foot In The Pool...
   Indonesia | Charles had just completed his studies at King William's College, and
   his dreams were ambitious. He planned retire by the age of 30. Unfortunately for
   Charles, his expensive education omitted an important lesson from the
   curriculum...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Grenade History Lesson: 16 Years Ago...

   [18](76%) Hammer of Doom
   Brazil | August brings us a winner from Brazil who tried to disassemble a Rocket
   Propelled Grenade by driving back and forth over it with a car. This technique
   was ineffective...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

'Chinese Fire Drill' History: 12 Years Ago...

   [19](76%) Ride 'Em Cowgirl
   In THAT much of a rush? A cautionary tale for those who can't spare the time to
   slow down and do things properly. Kentucky Kelita Hicks was travelling 'at
   highway speed' down Country Road 519 in her
     ____________________________________________________________________________

'Crossing The Road' Lesson: 8 Years Ago...

   [20](76%) Race To The Death
   For most people, the danger of fast traffic is obvious; for example few would be
   foolish enough to attempt to cross a major Interstate with 80-mph/130-kph
   traffic. Rare that anyone dies walking across a busy street, but then... there is
   Kevin Ward.
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Mini History Lessons: Rando Years Ago...

   [21](75%) Darwin Awards Shorts
   These five random snippets were collected from emails over the past decade. Their
   origins and veracity are unknown. A man in a diabetic shock swerved off Route 2
   in Lexington, Mass
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Flotation History Lesson: 16 Years Ago...

   [22](74%) Faithful Flotation
   Gabon | During an impassioned sermon, a congregation was surprised to hear their
   35-year old pastor insist that one could literally walk on water, if one had
   enough faith...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Snake Hunting Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [23](71%) Smarter Animals
   An Iranian hunter was shot to death near Tehran by a snake that coiled around his
   shotgun as he pinned the reptile to the ground. Another hunter reported that that
   the victim, named Ali, tried to catch the snake alive by pressing the butt of his
   shotgun
     ____________________________________________________________________________

DIY History Lesson: 12 Years Ago...

   [24](70%) Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In
   Ah, summer, the most blissful of seasons, when Darwin's most popular summertime
   activity -- do it yourself stupidity -- kicks into high gear. Meet Charles, 34, a
   Denver masonry contractor who works with
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Greyhound Bus History: 13 Years Ago...

   [25](70%) Missed The Bus
   A 24-year-old woman was ironically successful in her attempt to catch a bus in
   Quebec City. Clutching a can of pop, the woman ran into a restricted area...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Roller Coaster History: 23 Years Ago...

   [26](69%) Roller-Coaster
   Tales of roller-coaster accidents are the stuff of nightmares. It turns out that
   such tragedies are less common than folklore would have us believe. In The
   Science of Roller Coasters, Ted Oehmke reveals that there have been only 42 such
   deaths in the last 11 years. It
     ____________________________________________________________________________

'Military Intelligence' History: 23 Years Ago...

   [27](69%) Intelligence Blunders
   A deadly explosion in the Philippines was linked to careless NBI agents smoking
   near a bucketful of dynamite powder. Remnants of hand grenades, bullets, and
   weapons were scattered far and wide...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

'King Louis III' Love History: 1140 Years Ago...

   [28](69%) Lovestruck Louis III
   Blindly following lust, the world came crashing down upon the head of King Louis
   III, overzealous ruler of Francia. Despite great military success, great loss
   followed on its heels when a comely lady caught his eye...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Astronomy History Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [29](66%) Lights Out
   On Friday the 13th, Scott and his sister Kimberly had an electrifying experience
   while attempting to view the annual Perseid meteor shower. Scott, an aspiring
   young astronomer, set up his telescope for a closer view of the sky. Alas, poor
   Scott did not reflect on the
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Electric Resistance Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [30](63%) Resistance is Futile
   A US Navy safety publication describes injuries incurred while doing don't's. One
   page described the fate of a sailor playing with a multimeter in an unauthorized
   manner. He was curious about the resistance level
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Jet Ski History Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [31](61%) Wet Will He
   This story sounds like an urban legend, but it's true. Rodney was jet skiing
   around Lake Washington, enjoying the sun and the power between his knees. But he
   noticed that his battery was beginning to fail. He idled over to a dock near
   Juanita Beach Park
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Eclipse History Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [32](60%) Mental Eclipse
   A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the eclipse while driving near
   Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving behind him stated that the man was
   weaving back and forth as he concentrated on...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Rock Throwing Lesson: 20 Years Ago...

   [33](57%) A Rocky Roll
   An innovative petty crime spree turned into a Darwinian opportunity when a
   Vancouver man fell out of a minivan while throwing rocks. Five men had been
   denting mailboxes and moving cars with their low-tech missiles, when 2
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Diving History Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [34](49%) Show Off
   A 27-year-old man, bent on impressing three boys, dove into the ocean from an
   80-foot cliff. He was knocked unconscious by the impact with the water and rocks
   below. One boy climbed down the cliff and dragged the man from the sea, while his
   friends called for help.
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Car Tire Lesson: 22 Years Ago...

   [35](49%) Tired of it All
   Daniel was tired to death - literally -- at the Buckeye Ford Dealership in
   London. He had sneaked onto the lot in the wee hours of the morning with theft on
   his mind. His modus operandi was to jack up t
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Sauna History Lesson: 23 Years Ago...

   [36](45%) Sauna Kills Monk
   An elderly Buddhist monk and three of his followers died after spending hours in
   a homemade herbal sauna. Five others remain hospitalized in serious condition.
   The poorly constructed sauna had been set up in a basement room in the Bungrasi
   Buddhist temple near Bangkok. The group
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Gym Electricity Lesson: 22 Years Ago...

   [37](28%) Power Punch Proves Fatal
   Ian was a fitness fanatic and self-employed electrician living in an English
   seaside town. He had recently converted one room of his cottage into a new gym.
   Among the weights and exercise equipment hung a...
     ____________________________________________________________________________

Wheelchair Safety Lesson: 12 Years Ago...

   [38](25 August 2010) Angry Wheelchair Man
   As the video shows, an agrry man is rolling toward an elevator as the doors close
   and the lift departs. Annoyed, he reviews his options and choosed to back up, ram
   his wheeled chair into the reinforced shaft doors, and repeat THREE TIMES until
   literally breaking through. Plunging down an empty elevator shaft is a weird way
   to die, but his perseverence paid off;with a Darwin Award.

  Darwin Awards Featured In The News!

   [39]Professor William McComas Named 2020 Winner of Prestigious Friend of Darwin
   Award!! William F. McComas, Parks Family Distinguished Professor of Science
   Education in the College of Education and Health Professors, named one of the
   three 2020 winners of the prestigious Friend of Darwin Award for his impact on
   evolution education.

Misc Media, Short Snippets

  [40]SALON 2000 Interviews Webmaster Wendy: "We're with stupid".

  [41]SALON 2000: 'They Coulda Been A Contender'

   [42]RESEARCH: Study Supports The Theory That Men Are Stupid. Source of data:
   Darwin Awards archive.

   [43]What a Way to Go: Woman Who Created the Darwin Awards Wants to be a Winner
   Someday

   [44]Cool Safety Infographic from Best Nursing Masters.com

   [45]https://www.toptal.com/designers/htmlarrows/math/
   𝒟𝒜ℛ𝒲ℐ𝒩𝒜𝒲𝒜ℛ𝒟𝒮
   ||^!R!!B!!X!PdchmV¸✍--·->infty

  Human Language In Chains

   Language evolves! But our culture in its tidy way locks us into a particular
   spelling for each word, insists on a rigid sentence grammar, on correct
   pronunciation and not wrong wrong pronunciation. (And anyway why is
   'pronunciation' so hard to say?) These artificial constraints on puts a living
   language into a straightjacket. Discourages us from writing 'thru' and 'donut'
   and b/c -- the offical ('offal') language is tedious, cumbersome, a fading
   snapshot. Bejeezus!
   --Thanatologist Wendy Darwin

  Captain Ahab Meet Captain Obvious: Civilization Is Incompatible With Life On Earth.
  [46]"Happy Earth Day! Today And Everyday".

[47]Humans Win Dodo Award

   Side view of a beautifully-plumaged dodo bird. "Who will have the last laugh?"

   Would a Dodo make a great Darwin Award medallion? Think: "You're extinct, ya
   stupid dodo!" Cool idea... but  calling Dodo dumb does not sit well with
   me. The bird was a meek member of the Pigeon Family, easy to catch and eat, and
   extincted by man in 1691 only 100 years after its 'discovery'. This lovable dodo
   picture may help us see our behavior clearly. Human ate the last dodo. [48]Humans
   are devouring every bit of the biosphere.

   "Dumb as a Dodo" meet "Slow as a Sapien"
   --Thanatologist Wendy Darwin

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